Mini Reviews: Pride and Promiscuity, Raven Girl, A Christmas Carol, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

Pride and Promiscuity: The Lost Sex Scenes of Jane Austen by Arielle Eckstut and Dennis Ahston
Ugh, this book was the worst. THE WORST. Curiosity and hope that it would be funny caused me to read it. But it was more cringe-worthy than funny. It is what the title suggests: sex scenes involving Jane Austen's characters. And Jane Austen is now rolling in her grave. It's basically really bad fan fiction, and some of it is incredibly disturbing. The worst is a scene in which the Bingley sisters basically rape Jane Bennet. It's awful. Don't read this book.
Rating: 1/5

Raven Girl by Audrey Niffenegger
As a modern fairy tale, Raven Girl is everything a fairy tale should be: whimsical, magical and just a bit violent, sad and disturbing. It tells the story of a man who falls in love with a raven, and the halfling daughter they have. The notion of a human and raven having a baby - or, more specifically, the implication of what they did to have one - is pretty icky, but if you focus more on it being a fairy tale with fairy tale rules (or lack thereof) it is easier to enjoy. I liked the way it blended more fantastical elements with modern realities like science and medicine. The illustrations are ugly but beautiful at the same time, and they fit well with the overall tone of the story. I would actually love to see the ballet version of this.
Rating: 3/5

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, narrated by Tim Curry
Yes, this is how far behind I am with my reviews. I listened to this audiobook over Christmas. While the story was as wonderful as ever, I have to say I was disappointed with Tim Curry's narration. I expected amazing things so that didn't help. It just didn't feel right, and some of his voices were ridiculous and distracting. I think this year I'll just reread it again rather than listen to it (or at least this version).
Rating: 2.5/5



The Secret Life of Walter Mitty by James Thurber, narrated by Ben Stiller
This is a super short audiobook - like, 11 minutes long. Obviously this is the basis for the movie, which I haven't seen, but judging purely from the trailer they haven't kept a lot from the original story. Walter Mitty is an old man who escapes the tedium of his life and his nagging, annoying wife by going on fantastical adventures in his head. It was a good short story, if a little depressing, and Ben Stiller's narration was quite good. I don't know that I'll bother with the Hollywood version of this story though.
Rating: 3/5

Top Ten Opening Lines

1. "Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show. To begin my life with the beginning of my life, I record that I was born (as I have been informed and believe) on a Friday, at twelve o'clock at night." - David Copperfield by Charles Dickens. 

2. "The unicorn lived in a lilac wood, and she lived all alone... she was no longer the careless colour of sea foam, but rather the colour of snow falling on a moonlit night." - The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle.

3. "My father took one hundred and thirty-two minutes to die. I counted. It happened on the Jellicoe Road." - On the Jellicoe Road by Melina Marchetta.

4. "First the colours. Then the humans. That’s how I usually see things. Or at least, how I try. ***Here is a small fact*** You are going to die." - The Book Thief by Markus Zusak.

5. "Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again." - Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier.

6. "It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen." - 1984 by George Orwell.

7. "All children, except one, grow up." - Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie.

8. "Marley was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that... Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail. Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ancestors is in the simile; and my unhallowed hands shall not disturb it, or the Country's done for. You will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that Marley was as dead as a door-nail." - A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.

9. "This is my favourite book in all the world, though I have never read it." The Princess Bride by William Goldman.

10. "Jasper Jones has come to my window. I don't know why, but he has." - Jasper Jones by Craig Silvey.

Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.

Top Ten Books I'm Thankful For

1. David Copperfield by Charles Dickens. For allowing me to inhabit a world full of quirky characters that felt so real and so dear, I was left wanting more after nearly 1000 pages.

2. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. For giving the world Mr Darcy and Lizzie Bennet, arguably the greatest hero and heroine of all time, forming the greatest love story of all time.

3. Looking for Alibrandi by Melina Marchetta. For being a good friend throughout my teenage years; for making me laugh and cry; and for making me feel like I wasn't alone, that what I was feeling was normal, and it was all going to be OK.

4. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. For being so beautiful it moved me more than any other book ever has, and for teaching me that Death isn't such bad company - at least for a few hundred pages.

5. The Princess Bride by William Goldman. For bringing me joy every single time I read it.

6. Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery. For teaching me that being a freckled, kinda strange, imaginative and talkative red-head is awesome, no matter who calls you "Carrots" (especially if people call you "Carrots").

7. Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants by Ann Brashares. For snapping me out of my judgey, anti-YA ways.

8. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J. K. Rowling. For distracting me when I was stranded at Heathrow airport for two days with a chest infection and a broken rib and no idea when I'd be able to get home.

9. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. For putting me in the Christmas mood every year... and for The Muppet Christmas Carol.

10. Red Riding Hood by Sarah Blakley-Cartwright. For making me so mad I just had to express my anger - and so I started this blog.

Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

"I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round -- apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that -- as a good time: a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!''- Fred, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens