Tomorrow is the day. The end of the world the Mayans predicted. Or just, y'know, when their calendar ends. Just in case the world does end tomorrow, I thought I'd get prepared by refreshing my knowledge of apocalypses (apocalypseii?) from the place I get all my life skills (or lake thereof): books. I hereby present the (un)Official Apocalypse Survival Guide of 2012. There's only one problem: it's limited to the books I've read. But time is running out, so here goes nothing...
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
The Apocalypse: Unspecified disaster followed by a despotic government that controls the population by forcing them to send their children into The Hunger Games, a fight-to-the-death television extravaganza.
Survival Skills Required: Archery, running, cunning, a strong stomach, knowledge of plants, hunting, skinning squirrels, charisma, style and possibly cake frosting.
My Chances: 1/10 a.k.a. Doomed
And All The Stars by Andrea K. Host
The Apocalypse: Alien invasion via purple dust that infects humans, causing them to turn weird colours and manifest powers before being taken over.
Survival Skills Required: Running, hiding, baking, eating.
My Chances: 7/10 a.k.a. Let me eat cake.
The Walking Dead by Robert Kirkman
The Apocalypse: Zombies. Lots and lots of zombies.
Survival Skills Required: Running, being quiet, shooting, hacking, hitting, stabbing, decapitating, foraging, raiding, a strong stomach.
My Chances: 2/10 a.k.a. I'm hiding upstairs.
The Children of Men by P.D. James
The Apocalypse: The human race is suddenly infertile.
Survival Skills Required: Strong mental health and resilience.
My Chances: 6/10 a.k.a. Depressed, much?
Legend by Marie Lu
The Apocalypse: This is never really clear, to be honest.
Survival Skills Required: All-round perfection, money.
My Chances: 4/10 a.k.a. I'm too confused to give up all hope.
The Host by Stephanie Meyer
The Apocalypse: Invasion of the alien body snatchers.
Survival Skills Required: Running, hiding, being really strong-willed.
My Chances: 5/10 a.k.a. Nobody messes with my brain but me.
The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
The Apocalypse: Terrorist attacks + low fertility = Biblical-inspired misogynistic, extremist society where women are reduced to the archetypes of the pure (and barren) wife and the objectified (and fertile) whore.
Survival Skills Required: A fertile womb and subservience.
My Chances: 3/10 a.k.a. I don't know about my fertility, but I do know I probably wouldn't want to survive in this world.
That's about as far as my apocalyptic reading has gone to date. Here's hoping the world doesn't end tomorrow and I can add to the list! In the meantime, feel free to share your book-inspired survival tips in the comments.
