GIF Reviews: Rounding Up The Last Few Months Of Reading

I have been a terrible blogger this year. I haven't really had the time to blog and have considered just shutting it down several times. But I can never bring myself to do it. This blog has brought me a lot of joy and friendship over the past few years and I don't want to let that go. But it sits here, lonely and neglected, leaving me with an uneasy feeling of failure. I tell myself I'm just going to blog when I feel like it, but the pile of unreviewed books mounts and the task of getting back into it becomes more and more overwhelming. So, in an attempt to get past that and to start fresh in the new year - and see where that takes me - I'm cheating a little and doing the briefest reviews possible in an attempt to catch up, because I still want to log my feelings on each book but I don't want to write full reviews. So I'm going to do it in the language I'm most fluent in, other than English - GIFs, of course. Here we go...

The New World (Chaos Walking book 0.5) by Patrick Ness
In a sentence: This short story of how Viola came to the New World, and the crash that killed her parents, complements The Knife of Never Letting Go brilliantly.
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Rating: 3.5/5

The Ask and the Answer (Chaos Walking book 2) by Patrick Ness
In a sentence: The stunning, action-packed sequel to The Knife of Never Letting Go, that sees Todd and Viola separated and forced to make impossible choices that will leave you emotional, raw and bleeding all over the place.
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Rating: 5/5

The Wide, Wide Sea (Chaos Walking book 2.5) by Patrick Ness
In a sentence: A short story that gives a little bit of background info on Mistress Coyle, Viola's mentor of sorts, and tells of the impossible love between a Spackle and a human - a beautiful, bittersweet interlude that deserves a book of its own.
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Rating: 4/5

When Love Comes to Town by Tom Lennon
In a sentence: Rugby-playing bloke's bloke Neil comes to terms with his sexuality in 1990s Dublin - at times heartbreaking, at times touching, the book is let down by several plot holes and a lack of cohesion.
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Rating: 3/5

Ever by Gail Carson Levine
In a sentence: Bland, simple god falls for bland, simple mortal and the bland, simple plot drags on through bland, simple writing towards a bland, simple HEA.
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Rating: 2/5

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving, audiobook narrated by Tom Mison
In a sentence: The classic tale of Ichabod Crane and the Headless Horseman is surprisingly funny in its original form, narrated perfectly here by the same actor who plays Crane in the new TV show.
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Rating: 3.5/5

Outlander by Diana Gabaldon, audiobook narrated by Davina Porter
In a sentence: WWII nurse and awful person Claire is on a second honeymoon with her husband in Scotland when she is pulled back through time; she soon forgets her husband when she conveniently ~has to~ marry a hot Scottish guy - who is also an awful person who beats her, but that's somehow OK because they have lots of sexy sexy sex times together.
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Rating: 1/5

Forever by Judy Blume
In a sentence: This story of first love and first times is important and fills me with nostalgia - but upon rereading it's hard to look past the frankly bad writing and story (which feels blasphemous to say but is sadly true).
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Rating: 2/5

Lady Windermere's Fan by Oscar Wilde, audiobook performance by Roger Rees, Eric Stoltz, Joanna Going and Miriam Margolyes
In a sentence: A delightful performance of the classic play, I found it entertaining but I didn't ~love~ it as much as some of Wilde's other works I've read (a.k.a. listened to) this year.
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Rating: 3/5

Monsters of Men (Chaos Walking book 3) by Patrick Ness
In a sentence: Edge-of-your seat, gut-wrenching conclusion to the Chaos Walking series that stays with you long after you've finished.
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Rating: 5/5

Snowscape (Chaos Walking book 3.5) by Patrick Ness
In a sentence: Basically an extended epilogue to Monsters of Men WHICH WAS 100% FINE WITH ME.
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Rating: 4/5

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
In a sentence: Rich white woman goes missing, the husband is the number one suspect - but it's so much more than that, and left me feeling very, very conflicted.
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Rating: 3.5/5

Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead
In a sentence: This was a reread-a-long, and I unfortunately didn't love the book as much on the revisit - but I still liked it.
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Rating: 4/5

Fawn Brown by Zoe McAuley, audiobook narrated by Katherine Kellgren
In a sentence: Fawn Brown is Snow White's overlooked half-sister, revealing the "true" story of the fairy tale. This is a short novella with an interesting take on the classic story, narrated beautifully by Kellgren.
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Rating: 3.5/5

Salome by Oscar Wilde, audiobook performance by Rosalind Ayres, James Marsters et al.
In a sentence: A historical/biblical play with feminist undertones - although a little hard to follow at first, this performance really was wonderful to listen to.
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Rating: 3.5/5

Language A to Z, audio lecture series by Professor John McWhorter 
In a sentence: An engaging intro into linguistics using a word for each letter of the alphabet as a clever and interesting framing device.
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Rating: 3.5/5

Saving Francesca by Melina Marchetta, audiobook narrated by Rebecca Macauley
In a sentence: I revisited this emotional and authentic story of a teen girl dealing with her mother's depression - and her own issues - via audiobook, with lovely narration by Macauley.
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Rating: 5/5

The Piper's Son by Melina Marchetta, audiobook narrated by Michael Finney
In a sentence: The heart-wrenching follow-up to Saving Francesca, this time from the perspective of Hot Mess Tom Mackee and his aunt Georgie - a revisit for me via audiobook again, with good narration from Finney.
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Rating: 5/5

Audiobook Reviews: Beauty, Enchanted and Swordspoint

Beauty by Robin McKinley, narrated by Charlotte Parry
This is a retelling of Beauty and the Beast, and it contains all of the elements of the story you usually see. Loving the story so much, I was expecting to enjoy this too, and I was not disappointed. It's beautifully told, and McKinley's interpretation of the world and the characters is truly delightful. I adored Beauty, who was not "typically" beautiful or by any means perfect, which just made her all the more real and powerful. I loved the slow build of her relationship with the Beast. I loved her relationships with the rest of her family. I loved the twists and turns of the plot. I loved the narration by Charlotte Parry. I just loved this book.
Rating: 4.5/5

Enchanted by Alethea Kontis, narrated by Katherine Kellgren
Beauty left me hungry for more fairy tale retellings, and having seen Mands at The Bookish Manicurist rave about the Enchanted audiobook I decided to give it a try. It was a lot of fun. This time the fairy tale was the frog prince (with a few more mixed in!) and it was a charming and interesting take on the story. I really liked the main characters of Sunday and Rumbold, and the secondary characters - who apparently take centre stage in later novels in the series - were also great. I did find myself confused in a couple of places, where I thought the backstory of exactly what was going on could have been explained better, but overall it was a lovely book, with excellent narration by Katherine Kellgren.
Rating: 4/5

Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner, narrated by Ellen Kushner with performances by Dion Graham, Katherine Kellgren, Robert Fass, Nick Sullivan and Simon Jones 

I was drawn to this book by the "Neil Gaiman presents" label, and the idea of the "enhanced" audiobook, complete with performances - including by Katherine Kellgren - intrigued me. The story itself, a swashbuckling adventure that Gaiman describes as "if Jane Austen wrote fantasy", completely sold me. So this book had a lot going for it. It's a shame it didn't live up to that potential. First, the narration was terrible. The author's own American accent just sounded completely off for her clearly not American story and characters, and she was not great with the various voices. The fact that character voices were replaced by actors in certain scenes was more jarring than anything, and the sound effects and music were totally ridiculous and distracting. As for the story itself, considering it's all about sword fighting and murder plots, it was surprisingly slow-paced and boring. There was too much focus on high society politics for my liking. It didn't help that not one of the characters were likeable - not even in a love-to-hate kinda way. They were just annoying, infuriating, or tedious. I had to force myself to finish this book, and I was SO glad when it was over.

Rating: 2/5

Audiobook Reviews: The Too Far Series by Abbi Glines

Do you ever read the first book in a series and not particularly like it, but you keep reading the series anyway? And then you read the second and you still don't really enjoy it, but for some reason that you can't quite explain you keep going? Until you reach the third in the series, or worse even the fourth? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Yeah so that's what happened with the Too Far series for me. I picked up the first one, Fallen Too Far, when it was for sale on Audible. The sample sounded OK and I had a vague impression that Abbi Glines is an author I'd enjoy. People I follow seemed to like her. So I listened and look, it was entertaining. The narrator was quite good and the story itself was a bit of trashy fun. It's about Blaire, an innocent girl (coz there's no other kinds of girls in romance apparently) who goes to stay with her new step-brother after her mother passes away. You can see where this is going, right? There were parts that annoyed the crap out of me (hello, insta-love, characters not acting their age, guys acting possessive, ridiculous melodrama, etc), but I can admit I still enjoyed the book overall. The chemistry between the two main characters was pretty sizzling and the sex scenes were hot. With the exception of one which was distractingly annoying but also significant to the plot which in turn made me want to bang my head against the wall...

So yeah. The first book was fun enough but also annoying and I knew the series would probably get more annoying as it went on. But maybe a small part of me hoped it would get better, I don't know, because I continued anyway. Next I went with Rush Too Far which is Fallen Too Far told from the perspective of the love interest, Rush. It is testimony to how hot the chemistry is that I endured the exact same story, with the exact same dialogue and only a few new scenes, all over again. Rush annoyed me more here than he did in Fallen Too Far, what with being in his head the whole time. He showed the first signs of hardcore possessiveness, and I should have known it would only get worse.

Boy, did it get worse. Never Too Far and Forever Too Far, the second and third books in the series (technically Rush Too Far is the fourth I think), alternate between Rush's and Blaire's points of view. Blaire is annoying as hell and does some really really silly things, but Rush was just unbearable. He is so freaking possessive and controlling, handling Blaire like a doll, obsessing over what she eats, what she wears, who she talks to... and Blaire is all "lol aw so cute and caring". HONEY NO. This is some fucked up shit right here. And ugh, all the family drama was so tedious, and the way each character handled said drama was ridiculous and unrealistic and plain stupid.

All that being said I was still tempted to continue the series because the focus shifts to other characters and I'm nothing if not optimistic/a masochist apparently. But after reading reviews and seeing the other guys in the following books are even MORE possessive than Rush I just couldn't do that to myself.

I am now pretty baffled by the popularity of Abbi Glines. A few hot scenes does not make up for all the idiocy and awfulness that surrounds them. And there is so, so much. Blergh.

Ratings:

Fallen Too Far: 3/5
Rush Too Far: 2.5/5
Never Too Far: 2/5
Forever Too Far: 1.5/5

Mini Reviews: Snow, Life Was Easier When Boys Were Stupid And Boys And Toys

Snow by Maxence Fermine, translated by Chris Mulhern
This is a gorgeous book both inside and out. The cover is simply stunning and the writing itself is elegant and lyrical. It's about a man who is obsessed with poetry and snow, and the prose really embodies both of these themes. It is bright, stark, and sparkling. The whole thing has a whimsical, fable-like quality. It's a short, beautiful read, however I didn't really connect to it emotionally. It's a pleasure for the eyeballs but doesn't really reach a deeper level.
Rating: 3.5/5

Life Was Easier When Boys Were Stupid by Sarah Billington
I knew this was a short story but I didn't realise just how short until I finished it in under 10 minutes. It is the kind of story that belongs in a bigger anthology, I'm not sure how I managed to get it on its lonesome. It's been on my kindle for so long I thought I'd finally get to it. It was OK, but seriously it's one scene - a girl thinking about kissing this hot guy but he seems jerky so she walks out and sees this nerdy guy and THAT'S IT. The writing was fine but I didn't get anything from reading this. I mean I know it's only a short story but short stories should still make you feel something. Anything. Not nothing.
Rating: 2/5

Boys and Toys by Cara Lockwood (via Netgalley)
Liv's super conservative parents can't find out she sells sex toys for a living. So things get super awkward when a colleague of her dad's requests a private show. Cue sexy times, awkward times, sexy times, really awkward times, kinda romantic times, drama times, sexy times and happy times. This wasn't terrible but it wasn't particularly good either. The emotional and family issues were probably the best part, the main relationship didn't really grab me and the sex scenes weren't all that sexy. The whole "private party" thing was just a bit ooky to be honest. Overall this left me feeling "meh".
Rating: 3/5

Mini Reviews: Five Romance Novellas

Only With You by Cecilia Gray (via Netgalley)
This is the fifth book in the Jane Austen Academy series, a modern adaptation of Austen's stories that sees all the heroines attending the same school. This book focused on Emma. I quite liked it. I liked the relationship she had with Knight and I thought it was a pretty accurate portrayal of Emma in a modern setting. It doesn't adapt the whole book, instead picking up a couple of incidents to cover within its limited space, and I think that's for the best. As I've said before, this series is by no means a perfect adaptation of Austen's novels, but it is a fun and easy read and obviously written with a lot of affection.
Rating: 3/5

Red at Night by Katie McGarry
This novella tells the story of Stella, a girl from the wrong side of the tracks, and Jonah, a rich, popular guy who of course isn't without his own issues. They keep meeting at the cemetary and soon form a connection. This book was OK, it wasn't bad but it didn't blow me away either. It's quite short so of course you don't spend much time with the characters but I don't think that was the reason I didn't really connect with them. They just didn't feel particularly real to me, I suppose. Stella especially seemed to have been created just to deliver a particular message - this book was inspired by the Goodie Two Shoes Foundation as part of the "More Than Words" series after all, so her story relates to that and it just felt like the "lesson" was piled on a bit thick. But I think fans of Katie McGarry would enjoy it anyway.
Rating: 3/5

The Wicked Confessions of Lady Cecelia Stanton by Viveka Portman (via Netgalley)
This book is in the same series as another novella I read recently that I hated, but I'm trying to get through some of the many books I've requested on Netgalley in overexcited moods, and since it was only short I thought I'd read it anyway. I liked it a little better than the other story, but it still wasn't great. The olde worlde language wasn't quite as bad here and the characters were slightly less annoying. But only slightly. Basically, this book focuses on the newly married Cecelia, who gets "lessons" in how to please her husband (and actually just pleases herself) from her best friend and maid. So yeah it's a lot of sexytimes, but... meh. It's just not very good.
Rating: 2/5

Hero Duty by Jenny Schwartz (via Netgalley)
Jessica is a billionaire who gets bullied by her family. After the recent death of her father, she has to face her wicked step-mother and step-brother, who are trying to take the company that she's inherited away from her. Not feeling strong enough to face them alone, she hires ex-soldier Brodie to be her "emotional bodyguard". The whole premise just made no sense to me and it didn't really become clearer as I read the book. I feel like Jessica didn't even know what she wanted out of Brodie (well, other than sexytimes and love within five minutes of knowing each other), but if you ignore the weak reason they've been thrown together there is some nice scenes between the two. But I didn't actually like either of them, and Brodie in particular was a complete douche multiple times and behaved in completely unrealistic ways. So I didn't love this one. It was a quick read but very underwhelming.
Rating: 2.5/5

It's Love, Dude by Jenny Schwartz (via Netgalley)
This book actually came out before Hero Duty but I didn't realise it was part of the same series until I started reading the latter. It's about Brodie's brother, Zane, a world champion surfer who is back in his hometown for a press event. He quickly falls for Molly, who works for the local MP and is friends with Zane's granddad. I liked this book a lot more than Hero Duty, the characters were way less annoying. I still didn't love it because I'm not a fan of instalove, and it also didn't make sense that Zane and Molly didn't know each other at all considering they grew up in the same smalltown and apparently knew everyone else, but it was entertaining enough. It would make a good beach read.
Rating: 3/5

Mini Reviews: Four Romance Novellas And An Underwhelmed Book Blogger

I've been reading a lot of romance books lately. Perhaps not coincidentally, I haven't read many great books in recent times. Many of the books I've read have been mediocre at best. I don't know if it's the particular titles I've read or if the genre just isn't for me. Sure, they're entertaining enough in general, but I am often left feeling underwhelmed or even annoyed. That's certainly how I felt with these novellas:


Perfect Timing by Jane O'Reilly (Source: Netgalley)
Ruby has been crushing on her best friend for years but it's only now she's leaving the country he wakes up and realises he's in love with her too. Of course. I liked this book well enough but it might be saying something that I started reading it again a couple of weeks later, not because I loved it, but because I completely forgot I had read it. It wasn't bad but yeah, not all that memorable.
Rating: 3/5






Perfect 10 by Erin McCarthy (Source: Netgalley)
Katrina is a social media whiz who accidentally sends the details of her private hook ups (including ratings) to everyone in her address book. This has dire consequences for her job and her personal life - that is, until her ex best friend (who she had a one night stand with) gets in touch after seeing his score. This was OK, there were some cute parts but it was just all a little too convenient.
Rating: 3/5







Double Take by Leslie Kelly (Source: Netgalley)
Lindsey is a psychologist whose research into female orgasms makes her the laughing stock of her field, leading her to seek refuge on a small, quiet island town. The chief of police Mike is hiding from his own demons, and they're instantly attracted to each other but can't do anything about it because... they don't want people to gossip about them. Meh. I didn't buy it as a strong enough reason for them to not be together. I also really didn't buy that someone whose area of expertise is sexuality, and the female orgasm in particular, would be so self-conscious and repressed in her own sexuality. Underwhelming.
Rating: 2/5



The Private Affairs of Lady Jane Fielding by Viveka Portman (Source: Netgalley)
Lady Fielding and her husband are trying to have a son and heir when her husband is in an accident that means he can no longer have children. He has the perfect solution - his cousin will get Lady Fielding pregnant and they'll pretend the baby is his. I did not like this book at all. If it hadn't been so short I wouldn't have finished it - and it was a struggle as it was. I didn't like the characters or the plot, but worst of all was the writing - mayhap the writer verily thought she must needs use every olde worlde word in every sentence and it mayhap drove my verily batty.
Rating: 1/5

GIF Reviews: Quick Catch Up On Some Terrible Books And Some Good Books I've Read Lately

Every time I get caught up on reviews, I feel all smug and then get distracted/busy for a few weeks and find myself more behind than ever. Like now. When I am 15 reviews behind. Which I'm pretty sure is the most behind I've ever been. I blame it on all the novellas I've been reading lately. Same amount of pages, but more actual books. So to smash a bunch out right now so it's not weighing so heavily on my mind, and get back to regular reviewing (I know I've said it before, but I can only keep trying), I'm going where I've never gone before: GIF reviews! One-GIF reviews, to be specific. My feelings about a book, summed up in a GIF. Because mini reviews are just too long. Here we go...

Fury of Fire (Dragonfury book 1) by Coreene Callahan, audio read by Benjamin L. Darcie
In a sentence: Dragon shifter leader meets special snowflake nurse, falls in love instantly which leads to kidnapping, sexy sexy sex times, a surprise pregnancy which said dragon dude knew would happen but didn't bother to warn special snowflake nurse about, fights, battle, HEA.
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Rating: 2/5

Fury of Ice (Dragonfury book 2) by Coreene Callahan, audio read by Benjamin L. Darcie
In a sentence: Dragon shifter second-in-command meets special snowflake police detective, falls in love instantly, stuff happens, sexy sexy sex times, more stuff happens, meh I can't even really remember the rest.
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Rating: 2/5

Too Busy for Love by Tamsin Baker, via Netgalley
In a sentence: Busy hot businessman has fling with younger hot virgin gardener, falls in love, HEA, way too predictable and rushed.
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Rating: 2/5

Impossible Desires by Tamsin Baker, via Netgalley
In a sentence: Historical romance that is completely historically inaccurate - widow who is at last free from an abusive marriage wants to remarry, as long as she can be in control of ALL aspects of the relationship. Good thing she meets a kinky nobleman who has no personality but wants to fulfill her every desire.
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Rating: 1/5

Crazy, Stupid Sex by Maisey Yates, via Netgalley
In a sentence: After breaking up with her bland boyfriend, a smart but clueless-in-a-cute-way redhead meets smoking hot, rich player she wants to bang. They bang and fall in love yada yada yada. Basically Crazy, Stupid, Love fanfiction.
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Rating: 2/5

Indecent... Exposure (Indecent book 1) by Jane O'Reilly
In a sentence: Quiet, conservative photographer has a sexy photo business on the side, and things get personal and complicated (not to mention fun) when her quiet, conservative accountant/crush comes in for a photo shoot.
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Rating: 3.5/5

Crashing Into You by B.D. Rowe, via Netgalley
In a sentence: Idiotic girl moons over roommate's boyfriend, roommate dies, idiotic girl hooks up with roommate's boyfriend, roommate's little sister shows up, idiotic girl gets jealous, does something really horrible, gets HEA anyway.
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Rating: 1/5

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, audio read by Emilia Fox
In a sentence: You know the drill. Great reading by Emilia Fox (though Juliet Stevenson is still my fave Austen narrator).
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Rating: 5/5

Indecent... Proposal (Indecent book 2) by Jane O'Reilly
In a sentence: Adventurous woman realises her best friend's hot brother is not as conservative as he seems... and apparently he wants her - cue tension, sexy sexy sex times, drama, HEA.
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Rating: 3/5

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
In a sentence: Girl with cancer meets boy in remission, they fall in love, everyone's hearts get broken.
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Rating: 3/5

Colters' Woman (Colters' Legacy book 1) by Maya Banks, audio read by Freddie Bates
In a sentence: Three brothers live together, work together, and want to be in a relationship together - but not with each other, coz that would be GROSS, ew, no they want to be in a relationship with a WOMAN, just all at once which is not gross AT ALL, ahem - luckily for them they find a special snowflake damsel in distress, cue sexy sexy sex times, drama, yada yada yada.
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Rating: 2/5

Colters' Wife (Colters' Legacy book 1.5) by Maya Banks

In a sentence: Basically an extended epilogue to Colters' Woman, about the birth of the brothers' first child with their collective wife.
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Rating: 2/5

Colters' Lady (Colters' Legacy book 2) by Maya Banks, audio read by Freddie Bates
In a sentence: The three sons of the characters in book 1 don't want an unconventional relationship like their parents, until they all fall in insta-love with the same special snowflake damsel in distress and decide sexy sexy sex times all together isn't so weird after all.
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Rating: 2/5

Indecent... Desires (Indecent book 3) by Jane O'Reilly
In a sentence: Meredith is in her 30s and recently divorced, trying to get her bossy side under control and find someone she can settle down with, but everything changes when she meets a hot 20-something who likes to be told what to do.
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Rating: 4/5

Jane Austen Miscellany by Lesley Bolton
In a sentence: Bits and pieces from Austen's letters and biographies, quotes from her books, adaptations to check out and further reading to try, all wrapped up in a really pretty book.
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Rating: 3/5