The Movie Was THE WORST: The Host

Words cannot convey how bad The Host movie was. But maybe Gifs can!

I have to admit when I read the book about four years ago, I quite liked it. I thought the writing was an improvement on The Twilight Saga and the story was entertaining.

When I found out they were making a movie, I was moderately excited.

When I heard they cast Max Irons, I may have let out a little squee.

Still, I was nervous about how The Host would translate on screen, especially considering a large portion of it is two people interacting in one head.

As it turns out... it didn't translate. It didn't work at all.

'Melanie' was this weird echoey voiceover while 'Wanda' talked to her out loud, but it just looked like she was talking to/arguing with herself.

Things got hella awkward when the two guys were introduced.

Although Max Irons was pretty.

But the corny, corny lines and obligatory kisses in the rain were laughable.

And the love triangle square was completely absurd to watch.

Especially when Wanda would be kissing one of the boys while Melanie's voiceover screamed in protest.

Not even Max Irons or Saoirse Ronan (who I actually think is pretty great) could salvage this awful, awful movie.

I can say one good thing about this movie: It made me laugh.

A lot.

But I don't think that was its intention.

I give The Host one star.

Friday Link Dump: So Many Trailers! And Some Other Stuff

Stephanie Meyer hasn't ruled out more Twilight books - in fact, apparently she's already plotted out a few more focusing on Renesmee and Jacob. Ick. No word on whether the rest of The Host series is coming any time soon, but the trailer for the movie has just been released. It doesn't look amazing, except for Max Irons. Dayum.

A UK charity for abuse victims asked for donations of 50 Shades of Grey so they could use it to wipe their bums. Which is kind of hilarious. Not so hilarious is the fact that one woman is blaming the book for the disintegration of her marriage. Oh dear...

Should I read Beautiful Creatures? For some reason it's passed under my radar until recently, but now the internet is kinda exploding over the movie trailer. The cast is great but the story doesn't totally grab me from the trailer alone. Bit over paranormal romance TBH, though it's good to see the guy as the mortal for a change.

Another trailer that's making the rounds is the one for Warm Bodies. When I first heard about it I thought it was just cashing in on Twilight (with zombies) but it actually looks kinda good. The comments about R having the kind of face that could mean he's in his 20s, but could also mean he's a teenager, are particularly funny in light of the author's minor tantrum over the fact that his book isn't YA, even though it looks like it is to a lot of people.

Then there's the City of Bones trailer (what is the, Trailer Week?). I wasn't a massive fan of the book, but the movie looks pretty good. The cast looks right - even Jamie Campbell Bower. I wasn't convinced when they cast him, but judging by the trailer he does a good job as Jace.

I'm not fussed on Sookie's new "love interest" for the next season of True Blood. I guess this means they're not using Quinn, which I can't say I'm sad about. I never really liked him in the books. But ugh, enough with the faeries! Just have hot vampire sex with non-amnesiac Eric already!

Speaking of Sookie, the synopsis for the final book in Charlaine Harris' series has been released. The stuff about Eric being distant is annoying but unsurprising. I just hope they end up together in the end. Because all the other guys blow. 

The Oatmeal's latest comic on writing and content creation is both hilarious and insightful. His analogy of inspiration as a river is great, as is his advice for reading feedback and comments online (basically, it's not a good idea *cough*SPAs*cough*).

The Oxford American Dictionary has named the word of the year: GIF. Given my love of gifs, I appreciate this, but it's especially great considering the other contender was YOLO. Which I think we can all agree needs to live up to its meaning and go die.

You know how action figures/celeb dolls often look kinda fugly? This guy repaints them so they're more realistic, and they're absolutely amazing.

Will Smith still knows every word to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air rap. And it's awesome. 

I'm pretty sure Andrew Garfield is my favourite human being right now. Watch him do 10 different dances - with no music - for charity on Ellen.


This gif set is pretty much the story of my life.

YouTube Clip of the Week