Mag Monday: Cleo and Vogue October Editions

Cleo, October 2012

• I really don't like the cover. It looks like a pap shot, and Miranda isn't even looking at the camera. I also have zero interest in "friendship secrets from The Shire" and rolled my eyes at the "Fifty Shades of Grey sex challenge". Ugh.
• I was surprised to see the 50 Shades feature on page 26 - the sexy stuff is usually towards the middle of the mag. Then I realised it wasn't the sex challenge mentioned on the cover, but "50 Shades of Greed: Here's how to write your own erotic masterpiece. How hard can it really be?!" Despite inwardly groaning about the fact that there's already been two 50 Shades references and I'm only on page 26, the feature is pretty funny - basically taking the piss out of E.L. James and the characters she stole created.
• "Can you buy your dream life?" has deputy ed Tania Gomez trialling the celeb life for a week. It's a great feature, but sigh, I wish I was rich and could live like that. 
• "Dairy-free milk decoded" is a really useful piece on the pros and cons of the different milk alternatives. Apparently you have to be careful to get brands with no additives. It seems like quinoa is the way to go if you can afford it, while oat milk is the closest you can get in texture/taste to dairy skim milk.
• I totally want to try Dirty Dancing Aerobics after reading about it in the "Everbody dance now" feature. Xtende Barre also sounds interesting but a little intimidating. I ain't going anywhere near Konga - it sounds worse than Zumba, and I was way too scared to try that.
• So, the Fifty Shades of Grey sex challenge is actually one very brave writer trialling different sex scenes from the book with her even braver new boyfriend, which is interesting to say the least. Apparently, the nipple-tweaking that gives Ana her first orgasm results in nothing but frustration and sore nipples for two days; the silk tie scene is hot but the guy feels like he's getting, um, the raw end of the deal; the spanking is OK as a one-off; and doing it in a hotel room bath (minus the whole period/tampon removal part) is amazing. Righteo...
• "Choose your own adventure" is a fun travel feature, with suggested locations broken down into different priorities like food, pampering, shopping, relaxing and so on. I wish I was travelling right now...
• Fashion includes crop tops (so can't go there), "luxe" track pants (ditto), shorts (double ditto, sadface), a spring racing carnival style feature, neon (love) and Cleo's very own range of swimmers with Billabong.

Vogue, October 2012

• LOOOOVE the cover, which my crappy photography doesn't do justice to. Beautiful shot, lovely colours and a gold foil to top it off. The photo shoot of Lana Del Rey inside is simply stunning, too.
• "Affirmation nation" is an insightful feature about the potential harm of positive self-talk. Research has shown that while affirmations slightly help those who already have high self-esteem, they can make people with low self-esteem feel worse. The feature outlines the importance of having a realistic frame of reference, taking into account both positive and negative aspects in life, and to use "moderate" affirmations to reassure yourself, rather than positive ones that can make you feel like a failure.
• There's a really beautiful shoot with the leading ladies of the Legally Blonde musical (which I saw a couple of weeks ago and was pleasantly surprised by how awesome and fun it was). 
• "The female lead" is an entertaining and interesting opinion piece by Christine Jackman on whether women make better leaders than men. Spoiler alert: The conclusion is no - sure, women can be great leaders, but they can also be terrible leaders - just like men. That's equality.
• "Sweet serenade" is another gorgeous photoshoot featuring up-and-coming Aussie female singers like Jessica Mauboy, Kimbra and Washington.
• The fashion is completely unattainable, as always - but I guess that's kinda the point with Vogue.