Thursday, 28 March 2013

The Movie Was THE WORST: The Host

Words cannot convey how bad The Host movie was. But maybe Gifs can!


I have to admit when I read the book about four years ago, I quite liked it. I thought the writing was an improvement on The Twilight Saga and the story was entertaining.


When I found out they were making a movie, I was moderately excited.


When I heard they cast Max Irons, I may have let out a little squee.


Still, I was nervous about how The Host would translate on screen, especially considering a large portion of it is two people interacting in one head.


As it turns out... it didn't translate. It didn't work at all.


'Melanie' was this weird echoey voiceover while 'Wanda' talked to her out loud, but it just looked like she was talking to/arguing with herself.



Things got hella awkward when the two guys were introduced.



Although Max Irons was pretty.



But the corny, corny lines and obligatory kisses in the rain were laughable.



And the love triangle square was completely absurd to watch.



Especially when Wanda would be kissing one of the boys while Melanie's voiceover screamed in protest.


Not even Max Irons or Saoirse Ronan (who I actually think is pretty great) could salvage this awful, awful movie.


I can say one good thing about this movie: It made me laugh.



A lot.



But I don't think that was its intention.


I give The Host one star.



33 comments:

  1. Heh! I never read the book, even though I've heard it's better than Twilight, so I doubt I'll see this but, the fact that it was funny (esp. unintentionally) does appeal to me, maybe I'll wait for the dvd ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's better written than Twilight but not as much fun. The movie was so much worse than Twilight, though.

      Delete
  2. Great post love the gifs. Was this one produced by Meyer's production company? If it was sort of has me worried about Lost in Austen which I'm actually more interested to see in this movie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not sure, I don't think so. The plus side of Lost in Austen is that Meyer didn't write it. A bit problem with The Host was the script, which drew heavily on the book.

      Delete
  3. Oh no. I looooove the book. I have such high hopes. Boooooooooooo. But thank you sooo much for your thoughts and warnings.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have seen a few positive reviews on Tumblr. So maybe it was just me... and everyone in the theatre I was in.

      Delete
  4. hahaha, those gifs really made it for me! Great selection. Looks like the host is a red box movie for sure. Thanks for the warning! The trailer gave me hope, but we'll leave it at that.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Have yet to read the book and the movie trailers haven't wooed me, however this post definitely made me smile!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am still a bit gutted because I really did like the book! Not sure if i will get to see it or not. Possibly not.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah I'm sorry. Maybe you will enjoy it!

      Delete
  7. Loved the gifs! I've never read the book even though everyone says I should. I guess I'll skip the movie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The movie isn't amazing, but I did kinda enjoy it back in the day. Not sure if I would if I read it now.

      Delete
  8. ALL THE LOLS, BELLE!! I didn't even realize this was out yet. I just remember the book was about 300 pages too long. Poor, pretty Max Irons.

    -Maggie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha, the book was definitely too long. I did like it though.

      Delete
  9. JUST found your blog and am hooked already. INSTANT follower (something I haven't felt for a while, blog love at first sight). PS - every time I see a trailer for The Host I whimper a little. Your gifs helped me understand why ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow! Thanks, you made my day :)

      Delete
  10. Haha, omg!! This was just hilarious, Belle! Tweeting, tweeting, tweeting. I totally need to see this now for the laugh factor. Why does the trailer make it look so good?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Kara! The trailer doesn't have the naff voiceover, so that helps.

      Delete
  11. Bahahahaaha, this is the best. Sadly, I now kind of want to see the movie, because I could use more laughter. However, I'll wait for the DVD so I can laugh my ass off without getting glared at by the fangirls.

    Also, Wanda talking out loud to the voice in her head and the making out with someone yelling NOOOOOO in the background....I can't.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha. Probably wise to wait for DVD.

      Delete
  12. LOL... I heart this review so much. And now I desperately want to see The Host for myself. I could use a good laugh... and no matter what, Max is still good eye candy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He is very pretty. I hope he goes onto better things.

      Delete
  13. Title:
    The Best High Returns on Best Investment

    Content:
    Welcome to Make Money Online with best investment in Hedge fund day trading with high returns on Daily Interest the world best revenue sharing program in which High Yield Investment Program, Best Hyip, Best Investment, Hyip Monitor, Forex Fund, Daily Profit, Monthly Interest, Monthly Profit, Earn Money Online, Money Maker Group, Dream Team Money and like this much more and you can withdraw the amount throw referral commission, eCurrency Invest, LibertyReserve, Alert Pay and SolidTrustPay as well. Get 200% profit within 150 days and the minimum withdraw is only $5 which is on daily basis.
    For More Details click the link below:

    Web Link:
    http://www.whatacash.com

    Display Name: whatacash

    ReplyDelete
  14. I might just watch this movie so I can laugh at it. The whole voice over thing sounds hilarious! Love this review :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's definitely unintentionally hilarious.

      Delete
  15. I would nominate this movie for WORST ADAPTATION EVER. Yep. The best part of it was probably Uncle Jeb, who I did find funny and wise, just like the book, but other than that....
    I'm pretty mad I wasted $10 on a matinee ticket for this.

    Jennifer @ The Bawdy Book Blog

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree Uncle Jeb was probably the best part. I got a free ticket and I'm so glad I didn't waste any money on it!

      Delete
  16. This sounds like drinking game material! :) I'm actually curious about watching it just to experience the awkward that is the Wanda/Melanie conversations..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah. Take a sip:

      -Every time Saoirse talks to herself.
      -Every time her accent falters.
      -Whenever the dialogue makes you cringe.
      -When Jeb says something "wise".
      -When the little kid is annoying.

      Take a shot:

      -For every kiss that happens whilst a voiceover is protesting.
      -Every time you see a shiny car.
      -Whenever someone's contact lense is off centre.
      -When there's a lame explosion.

      You'll probably pass out within an hour.

      Delete
  17. Haha, this is kind how I felt about Beautiful Creatures the Movie...ahem...Disaster.

    Courtney @ Fuzzy.Coffee.Books

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I haven't read the book but the trailer for the movie didn't exactly draw me in.

      Delete