The Movie Was Craptastic: The Mortal Instruments - City of Bones

Note: I wrote this post on Tuesday night straight after watching the movie, but everyone was under embargo until today. So here it is!

Wow. That was bad. That was really, really bad. I just watched The Mortal Instruments - City of Bones and it was laughable. Like I literally laughed out loud in several places. When I don't think I was meant to. But even though it was terrible, it was still pretty entertaining. 

What I liked

• I thought the cast were pretty great and fit their characters well. Lily Collins is GORGEOUS and a great Clary, and even Jamie Campbell Bower, who I had my doubts about, was good as Jace. He did have the whole angelic/lion-like thing happening, although I didn't find it particularly attractive. My one gripe with the cast is that the actors playing Isabelle and Alec, although talented, look like they're about 30. No way can they pass as teenagers, even the Hollywood version of teenagers.
• There's a line inserted that makes the big twist less WTF-worthy. Though it's still pretty WTF. And the line didn't make sense with what followed. But whatevs, I think they needed to include something like that.
• The action scenes were well done. Isabelle with a flame-thrower thingy (I'm all up on the weaponry terms, clearly) was awesome.
• There's some funny dialogue. Intentionally funny. But there's also a helluva lot of unintentionally funny dialogue, which brings me to...

What I didn't like

• There are many laughably bad moments. Including some awful, awful dialogue and characters doing really stupid things. It really dragged the movie down.
• It's completely action-packed, with major events jammed in all together, which is fun, but it also means there's not a lot of emotional depth. I didn't get a good sense of Clary's worry about her mum, her shock at discovering the Shadowhunter world, or her feelings building for Jace. It all happens too quickly.
• The soundtrack is pretty bad, and there's one scene in particular (the greenhouse scene) where the music is overbearing and completely ruins the mood, rather than enhancing it. It was so cheesy, and I was laughing when I wanted to be swooning.
• The steles looked plastic. Hodge's bird looked like a puppet. The greenhouse... don't even get me started on the fake flowers and general terribleness.
• Valentine has these terrible fake plaits attached to the back of his head for no apparent reason and they made me irrationally angry.
• Watching it on screen, the Harry Potter stealing influence was more obvious than ever.

I was still entertained, but it was one of the worst movies I've seen this year. And I've watched Sharknado. If you're a fan of the book you'll probably like it. I think it was actually better than the book (although looking back, I gave the book three stars - I think I was more patient and generous back then, ha). Otherwise, maybe wait for DVD. And take a drink every time someone says or does something stupid or cheesy. You'll be passed out halfway through.

Rating: 2/5

Top Ten Things That Make Book Blogging Easier

1. Goodreads. I loooove Goodreads. It's great for connecting with fellow book-lovers and cataloging books. I have a ridiculous amount in my TBR pile and on my wishlist, and it would be impossible to keep track of everything without Goodreads.

2. Booko. This is my one-stop search engine for book buying. It finds all of the available outlets a certain book is at, and ranks them from least expensive to most expensive, shipping including. Brilliant.

3. Netgalley. Netgalley is wonderful for access to e-galleys for review. It brings many books to my attention that I may not have noticed otherwise. Too many, even - I always end up with way more than I have time to read. Must. Stop. Requesting.

4. Bloglovin'. I only just started using this thanks to the demise of Google Reader, and I actually took the time to organise the blogs I follow into categories. It has made blogging life so much easier, I am obsessed with it.

5. Spare time. Book blogging takes up a lot of time. If I had more of it, it would be so much easier.

6. Awesome books. They are the main reason I read and blog, after all.

7. The library. Free books. Nuff said.

8. Fellow bloggers. The book blogging community is amazing. I've made so many wonderful friends.

9. My kindle, Betsy. While I still adore physical books, my kindle is so convenient for acquiring and transporting books.

10. Audiobooks. OK, I've only "read" one so far, but I plan on getting into them big time. So easy and fun!

Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and The Bookish.

Friday Link Dump: Flowers in the Attic, Adorable Dogs and Nutella

-The big news in the YA book world this week was the release of the Vampire Academy: Blood Sisters teaser trailer. (Yahoo!) If that isn't enough for you, here are some stills (Weebly), and here are author Richelle Mead's thoughts on the teaser (Dhampir Life). All I want to know is, why the hell is Dimitri wearing granny knickers?!

-There is a Nutella recipe book. I want to go to there. (Book Depository)

-I totally want this gorgeous book of illustrations of famous literary heroines. (Refinery 29)

-Even Stephenie Meyer is sick of Twilight. Really. (Variety)

-Cuddlebuggery created some memes about the woes of being a Big Book Blogger. Lulz. (Cuddlebuggery)

-The book isn't always better than the movie - at least according to the authors who wrote these ones. (Cracked)

-If you haven't seen the OCD poetry performance that's been doing the rounds, go watch it. Now. (YouTube)

-This is what Teen Wolf looks like to a Tumblr user who hasn't actually seen the show. Spoiler: It's hilarious. (Hypable)

-The history and magazine nerds inside me are both very happy with this post about the first issues of famous mags. (Mental Floss)

-People who think The Onion articles are true are silly. And hilarious. (Thought Catalog)

-The Toast had a Flowers in the Attic day and it was amazing. They interviewed editor Ann Patty, who also wrote her own account of how the book came to be. They also published some fan art and this insightful piece on "disability horror" - coz V.C. Andrews is about more than incest. Ahem. (The Toast)

-In other V.C. Andrews news, Kiernan Shipka (a.k.a. Sally Draper) has been cast as Cathy in the upcoming Flowers in the Attic movie and I don't know how to feel about this. (Deadline)
 
-Hypable lists their fave Shakespeare movie adaptations. I like that 10 Things I Hate About You made the list. (Hypable)

-I've been reading Tales of the Macabre by Edgar Allen Poe this week and it made me curious about how accurate The Following is in its portrayal of Poe. Apparently not very. (Vulture)

-The 10 types of writers you probably resent. (The Toast)

-I can't decide whether to laugh or cry at these emoji versions of famous artworks. Laugh. It's laugh. (Tumblr)

-I am really excited to watch A.C.O.D. Although it will be odd to see Amy Poehler play Adam Scott's step-mother. But awesome. (Yahoo!)

-The trailer for Cory Monteith's last movie, McCanick, looks great but it's incredibly haunting. It makes me wonder if playing a drug addict triggered his own addiction. So sad. (YouTube)

-GQ lists the key horror movies to watch this year. Although their definition of horror is quite loose. (GQ)

-Tina Fey is working on another TV show and it's the best news I've heard all week. (AV Club)

-Do you ever browse the web and find yourself thinking, "if only every single photo on this page was Ryan Gosling"? No? Well, there's an app for that anyway. (Hey Girl)

-Take this hearing test to see how good your ears are. Mine are "under 40". Yikes. (YouTube)

-These dogs are cat people and although I am not cat people I am all for interspecies friendships. I am also all for dogs who sometimes forget how to be dogs and get themselves into hilarious positions. But most of all I am for dogs who are really excited about being dogs. (BuzzFeed)

-Meanwhile this dog knows how to play with himself (get your mind out of the gutter!). (YouTube)

-I love seeing pictures of Marilyn Monroe that I haven't come across before. Like these. (Vintage Everyday)

Top Ten Books Set in Australia

1. Jasper Jones by Craig Silvey. This book beautifully encapsulates so much of Australian culture and what it's like to grow up in this country. It also has the most exciting description of a game of cricket ever. Like, it's actually exciting.

2. Graffiti Moon by Cath Crowley. Two teens explore Melbourne over one night. I want to go there so bad (yes, I've never been and I know, it's terrible).

3. On the Jellicoe Road by Melina Marchetta. The isolated rural setting of On the Jellicoe Road is as beautiful as it is haunting. Pretty much all of Melina Marchetta's contemporary novels could go on this list, the Australian setting is so central to all of them.

4. The Reluctant Hallelujah by Gabrielle Williams. A roadtrip with a difference. It made me want to see Australia this way. Minus the surprise in the boot.

5. And All The Stars by Andrea K. Host. I haven't come across too many (read: any) sci-fi stories set in Australia so I was pleasantly surprised by this one. 

6. Puberty Blues by Kathy Lette and Gabrielle Carey. This is an iconic Aussie book, putting a spotlight on the darker side of surfie culture.

7. I Came to Say Goodbye by Caroline Overington. This book showcases a variety of Australian settings and the main character, Med, is the epitome of an Aussie battler. 

8. Picnic at Hanging Rock by Joan Lindsay. An Australian classic, this atmospheric and eerie tale explores the tension between European settlers and the harsh landscape.

9. Cinnamon Rain by Emma Cameron. This verse novel tells an Australian story that's not often told - teens who leave school before year 12. That's it. But it's also so much more. 

10. Preloved by Shirley Marr. Aside from the 80s reference, ghostliness and general awesomeness, I love that the main character in this book has Asian heritage and highlights what it's like to grow up in a migrant family.


Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.

Friday Link Dump: Thor, Audiobooks and The OC

-This blog features recipes inspired by Game of Thrones. Totally want my own feast now. Plus Flavorwire discusses the sexism and violence in Game of Thrones - and why it's not necessarily a bad thing. I'm inclined to agree.

-I am so freaking excited for Thor: The Dark World. The trailer looks amazeballs. And so does Chris Hemsworth pretty hair.

-This video features some awesome quotes about how to get over writer's block. How timely for me.

-A clever The Lizzie Bennet Diaries fan created a LBD-themed Monopoly that you can download for free.

-BuzzFeed compiled a list of audiobooks read by celebs. I need to get me some of these.

-I actually didn't know a lot of these Harry Potter movie facts. Fun!

-Disney characters know how to throw shade. Totally going to use some of these next time I get into an argument.

-Meanwhile, this talented GIF creator puts moving Disney characters against real backdrops with magical results.

-Max Irons photo gallery. Need I say more?

-Apparently Downton Abbey season four will feature some new love interests for Lady Mary. And I want to watch it less and less.

-This list of the best TV friendships is brilliant. Troy and Abed, Lorelai and Rory AND Seth and Ryan? Yes, please. Plus Junkee lists their top five The O.C. episodes and I can't believe it's been 10 years since it started.

-Here's some GIFs of kids being awesome. 

-This Tumblr features adorable and funny illustrations. Love.

Talking Point: Self-Sabotage And Writing

I’ve always wanted to write a book. But I’m an epic procrastinator. I keep finding excuses not to do it, like…

-I don’t have any ideas. This was my initial excuse. Then I got some ideas. I was excited about them. And promptly found everything that was wrong with them. Now I have a lot of ideas, but I’m so weighed down with my own self-doubt I don’t know what to do with them.

-I’m not good enough. Did I mention my self-doubt? Yeah, I’m as good a doubter as I am a procrastinator. It’s kind of my thing. But I don’t want it to be my thing. I want to have confidence in my abilities. I want to do what I want, which is write. I’m so frustrated with myself for not just doing it already. Which brings me to…

-If it were meant to be, I would have done it by now. I’m 27 years old. I did a writing course over a year ago. I’ve wanted to write stories for as long as I can remember. But the fact I haven’t done it yet makes me doubt myself (there’s that word again!) and think I mustn’t really want it if I keep putting it off.

-I have to wait for the right moment to do it. I’m afraid if I write when I’m not in the “right” frame of mind, it’ll be terrible and put me off writing forever. Or it will stop me from writing something I'm "meant" to write. It's ridiculous and, of course, I know I’m waiting for something that may never happen, what with my anxiety and all.

-I need to sort out other areas of my life first. My floordrobe. This blog. An ailing computer. My health. So many things I tell myself I need to work out first before I can write a book. But I procrastinate over them, too, so nothing ever gets done. It’s a vicious cycle I’m stuck in.

-Others have done it, and because I haven’t it means I can’t. There are a few women in the same industry as me, around the same age, who obviously have similar ambitions. Except they’ve actually written their books and are getting them published. Rather than thinking, “if they can do it, I can”, my mind says, “they’ve done it, there must be something wrong with you if you haven’t.” Ah, comparisons - just another tool I use to beat myself up.

-I don't have the right motivation to write. I question why I want to write (like I question everything in my life). Is it because I just want to be published? Is it because I think I should? Because others want me to? Because others have, and I'm too damn competitive? Do I actually need to write? Deep down I know it's because I want to. I want to. I love stories, and I want to tell my own. I just need to get the courage to do so.

You see, more and more time passes and the excuses get bigger and feed each other and it just gets worse. I’m so angry with myself. But mostly I’m afraid. What it all comes down to is the fact that once I’ve done it, once I’ve started writing – or, dream of dreams, actually written a book – I can’t take it back. While nothing is written, it still has potential. It could still be great. If I actually write it, it could be awful. When you haven’t tried, you haven’t failed. Except, of course, that to never try would be the greatest failure of all.

I’m sorry if this post is kind of self-pitying and silly. I guess I just want to get the excuses out of my system. I also want to know if anyone else goes through the same thing or has experienced it before. Any advice would be most welcome! Or a metaphorical kick up the butt - I probably need a few of those.

Bookish Buys: Hannibal Treats

I watched Hannibal over one intense weekend recently and I am hooked. With no more episodes left to watch, I naturally went on a search for all things Hannibal-related. I decided to use the fact that it's based on a book as an excuse to do a post about it. Because why not...

Mini prints

Plushies

Print

Buttons

Mug

Clock

Keychains

Necklace

Poster

Pencil case

Singlet

Tote



Phone case

Badges

Top Ten Books I Wish Had Sequels

I don’t know that I actually want sequels to any of these books, coz I’m a big fan of standalones these days. But there are some books that have left me wanting more, with characters that stay with me well after I’ve finished reading…

-Liar by Justine Larbalestier. This was a mindscrew of a book and I just want to know the TRUTH. But Larbalestier has said even she doesn’t know, plus I think a big reveal would undermine the power of the story somewhat. But on the other hand CLOSURE.

-Amy and Roger’s Epic Detour by Morgan Matson. This was an adorable, heartfelt roadtrip book that made me happy sigh when I finished it. I loved the characters and would like to read more about them, although I felt satisfied with the story told in this one.

-The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett. Mary grew up to marry Dickon and have lots of forest animals and babies and a beautiful big garden and she definitely didn’t marry her broody cousin Colin and Dickon definitely didn’t die. The end.

-Between the Lives by Jessica Shirvington. Although I loved how this one ends, it definitely left me wanting MOAR.

-The Princess Bride by William Goldman. I’d love to see Buttercup’s Baby, Goldman’s joke sequel chapter, actually happen. I have to know what happens to Fezzik. Namely how he gets saved because HE CAN’T DIE.

-North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell. It would be awesome to see the wedding and Margaret settling into life as Mrs Thornton. And the actual reaction of the elder Mrs Thornton. And maybe the wedding night… you know, the feast and stuff. Yeah.

-Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins. OK, so technically this does have a sequel in Lola and the Boy Next Door, but another story focused on Anna and Etienne would be great. I love those two.

-Graffiti Moon by Cath Crowley. I'm keen to spend another night with these characters. Perhaps a year after the events in the original.

-Looking for Alibrandi by Melina Marchetta. I’d love to see Josie as an adult. I related to her so much as a teen, I wonder if I’d still relate to her as a (not quite) grown-up. I like to think she achieved her dreams. And made it work with Jacob Coote.

-This is Not a Test by Courtney Summers. This is another book where really, I just want to know what happens on the page after the last one. It had quite an ambiguous ending, and I like CLOSURE. But as with Liar, I think if I actually got it, the book wouldn’t be nearly so powerful.

Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.

Review: The House at the End of Hope Street by Menna van Praag

The blurb for The House at the End of Hope Street promised a whimsical, magical, delightful tale featuring literary and historical heroines and inspiring female characters. While the outline of those things are there, and it is lovely in parts, on the whole I felt it failed to deliver on its potential.

The story opens with Alba, whose life has hit rockbottom for unspecified reasons. Feeling utterly alone, she winds up on the doorstep of the titular house on Hope Street, and is welcomed by the quirky lady who runs the place. She is told she may stay for 99 days and that she will be inspired and helped by the house, like the many famous women who have been through it before her and who now (literally) speak from the portraits lining the walls.

I loved this book to start with. The magical house drew me in and the whimsy and beauty was all very exciting. But my enjoyment soon lagged. The plot development was rather slow, and the narrative was bogged down by the constant changing point of views. That’s right – we see into the head of pretty much every character that appears on the page. Sometimes we see inside the heads of each character as they are having a conversation with each other, and it all gets very confusing. It's just too much information. This overload of perspective made it hard to connect with any of the characters, let alone Alba, who I suppose was meant to be the main character but was overshadowed by the many other points of view.

As for the secondary characters, I did enjoy their stories more than Alba’s, and I especially liked Peggy, the house's landlady, for lack of a better word. But again I feel they all suffered from an overcrowded narrative, and were not as fleshed out as they might have been otherwise. I was particularly troubled by Carmen, a Portuguese singer who is also staying at the house. The way her accent was written was quite distracting and off-putting. Meanwhile, the antagonists were completely two-dimensional.

The many amazing literary and historical figures were also not utilised to their potential. Many times they were merely passing references, and when they are given a voice it just doesn’t feel right. I did like the rundown of who they are and what they did at the end of the book, but was disappointed with how they were used in the actual narrative.

I had been looking forward to a magical story in The House at the End of Hope St, but in the end I found it quite predictable and ordinary. I could tell what was going to happen with all the characters, and unfortunately it was way too cheesy and perfect for me. I like a happily ever after, but the way things worked out for EVERYONE so wonderfully was just a bit hard to swallow.

I really, really wanted to love this book. I thought I would. Unfortunately I liked the idea much more than the execution. It wasn’t terrible, but it could have been so much more.

Rating: 3/5

Fine Print
Published: April 2013, Pamela Dorman Books
Source: Netgalley
Get It:  The Nile

Friday Link Dump: Game of Thrones Costumes, Bunny Island and Drunk Amy Poehler

-I love this discussion of the hairstyles on Game of Thrones and what they indicate about the characters. Meanwhile, here are some how-tos on emulating those styles. And here is how the talented costume embroiderer created some of the iconic pieces.

-J. K. Rowling talks to Goodreads about how she crafts characters, and reveals more fascinating information on the Robert Galbraith website.

-BuzzFeed lists 19 book cover cliches that should probably go away now. 

-Tweeting Mr Thornton quotes and pictures all day, Thornton Bot is my new fave Twitter.


-Apparently, I am Hermione Granger.

-Expectations vs reality of being a writer. Ha.

-Abandoned mansions are both fascinating and hella creepy.

-I'm not a fan of Nicolas Cage, but I am a fan of memes. So this page makes me happy.

-Awesome nail art is awesome.

-There is a BUNNY ISLAND. I want to go to there.

-I also want to go to all of the theres on this page. Nature porn!

-And now architecture porn! Victorian houses, le swoon.

-I don't know whether I like drunk Amy Poehler better than sober Amy Poehler. I do know both are amazing. I want her to play with my hair.

-This YouTuber talks about the perks of being blind and it's both hilarious and touching.

-This story of a dog rescuing a kitten may cause your heart to explode from the adorable.

-ROFLZOO is my new go-to when I need a smile.

-This YouTube channel of celeb face mashups is both brilliant and super disturbing.