The Movie Was... Meh: Breaking Dawn Part Two

 
So. I've ended my relationship with The Twilight Saga. It's over. And not a moment too soon.*

Last night I dragged the Husband along to see Breaking Dawn Part Two, and I can't say either of us were particularly excited about it. I HATED the book, especially the second half, but I felt like I should watch the movie to, you know, get a sense of closure. The Husband just came along because he's a good sport. He subsequently slept through half the movie.**

As I mentioned in my post about Part One, I had a lot of problems with the book, which in turn meant I had a lot of problems with the movie(s), seeing as it's the same story and all. There were a few redeeming qualities,but not many. Spoilers ahead!

What I Liked

• The lullaby was played during the opening credits AND Edward actually plays it again to Bella and Renesmee. It's quite sweet. 
• The sex scenes were OK. Lots of facial close-ups. I guess they had to keep it PG or whatever. Sigh.
• Bella bashing up Jacob when she finds out he's imprinted on her daughter. Though her screaming about the Loch Ness Monster nickname was cringey, as is everything else about that name.
• Unlike in the book, Charlie actually wants to know what has happened to Bella. She refuses to tell him, and he gets really frustrated. I couldn't stand it in the book when Charlie went from a caring father to someone who was all "don't want to know", so I was really glad they changed it in the movie.
• The end, when Bella shows Edward her memories, was sweet, and the flashbacks provided a nice sense of closure.
• It was cool that they featured everyone from the saga in the credits, even if they didn't appear in this movie. It was a nice way to finish it off. Although by the end it started to feel a bit soap opera-ish, with the actors turning and smiling towards the camera.
• There was more action than there was in the book, but...

What I Didn't Like

• Of course it wasn't real action, it was just Alice's vision. I knew that going in, because I had read spoilers. The Husband, knowing nothing about the book or movie, said he thought that was going to happen anyway, because there was no "flash" of Alice's vision otherwise. But when the "twist" was revealed, everyone in the theatre laughed and there was more than a few cries of "are you serious?!" and "you've got to be joking!" I don't think many people were very impressed. I certainly wasn't. It's still lame that there's all that build up and nothing essentially happens. They're freaking vampires and werewolves, and no one dies? Yaaaaaaawn.
• RENESMEE. Everything about that character is The Worst, including the CGI - that baby was so freaking unrealistic, it was laughable. Literally. I couldn't take any scene with her in it seriously. When she finally turns into a real girl, she's too big. And the whole Jacob thing is still incredibly creepy, no matter how they try to make it seem like it isn't. The vision that Alice gets of Jacob and Renesmee together in the future is not only cheesy, it also doesn't make any sense - Alice can't get visions of Jacob OR Renesmee, which is why she can't just show everyone it's going to be fine in the first place.
• Bella looks good, but everyone else in the cast looks pretty terrible. The styling, hair and makeup was once again totally off for pretty much everyone. Edward was not hot. Which defeats the main purpose of the movie, really.
• Bella's narration was unnecessary (hello, Captain Obvious!) and distracting.
• Everything turns out perfect. Too perfect. It's boring. I blame Stephenie Meyer.

Rating: 2/5

*Seriously, I'm contemplating getting rid of the books. Maybe I'll give them one last hoorah before I dump them, but I think it would just be painful.
**Random anecdote: Before leaving for the movies, I was mucking around and threw some glitter at the Husband. It didn't really wash off. He had to walk into a Twilight movie as sparkly as Edward. Teehee.

Bookish Fun: The Hunger Games and Snow White

You've probably seen The Hunger Games trailer a million times by now. I know I have (well, at least 11 times, anyway). How freaking awesome does it look?! Here's what I love about it:

• Jennifer Mother Loving Lawrence as Katniss Mother Effing Everdeen. Amazeballs. Perfect in every way. The moment when she volunteers... that is Katniss!
• Liam Hemsworth as Gale. He doesn't have to do much other than be spunky, and he does that pretty damn well.
• PRIM! She's adorable and perfect and breaks my heart.
• RUE! She's adorable and perfect and breaks my already broken heart even more.
• Lenny Kravitz is totally the Cinna I saw in my head.
• The costumes and scenery all look amazing and definitely bring to life the world built by Suzanne Collins.
• I'm still not totally behind Josh Hutcherson as Peeta, but the emotion on his face when his name is pulled out in the Reaping is spot on.
• Stanley Awesomesauce Tucci. I kinda wanna marry him.
• The glimpse of Peeta and Katniss talking on the roof. Squee! I love that scene.
• Katniss' salute and the response from the crowd.
• The way they set up the story without revealing the whole freaking movie. And the way they built up the tension and cut off the trailer just as the Games were starting. Talk about a teaser! The moment when Katniss is being lifted up and you can hear the countdown is totally gut-wrenching - as it should be.

Here's what I didn't like about it:

• Whatever the hell is on Haymitch's head. Did they use the same wig department as The Twilight Saga?
• Call me superficial, but Josh is still not hot enough to be my idea of Peeta... but hey, he might change my mind by the end of the movie.
• It's not out till March. I can't wait that long!

In other movie news, the trailer for Snow White and the Huntsman was released last week, and while it's sadly been trumped by The Hunger Games, it still got me pretty excited. The only criticism I have is that there is no way Kristen Stewart could ever surpass Charlize Theron in "fairness". But the movie looks really good!

What did you think of The Hunger Games trailer? Are you excited for Snow White and the Huntsman?

Bookish (Movie) Fun: Young Adult, Snow White and Paradise Lost

I posted a little while ago about how I was cautiously excited about Diablo Cody's upcoming flick Young Adult, because it sounded like an interesting comedy about a YA author, plus it had an awesome poster. Well, the trailer has been released, and I have to say I'm no longer excited at all. I think I'll give this one a miss. It doesn't even look craptastic - it just looks crap.

One movie that I am getting increasingly excited about is Snow White, starring Lily Collins and Armie Hammer. There's no trailer yet, but there is a bunch of pretty stills:

In other (kinda old, but new to me) movie news, I was surprised to find out that John Milton's epic poem Paradise Lost is being adapted for the big screen. As an action movie. In 3D. Starring The Hangover's Bradley Cooper as Lucifer, unknown Benjamin Walker as Michael, Ben's little brother, Casey Affleck, as Gabriel, I Am Number Four's Callan McAuliffe as Uriel, Pretty Little Liars' Diego Boneta as Adam and... wait for it... the girl Joe Jonas dumped Taylor Swift for, Camilla Belle, as Eve. I don't know how I feel about this. I'm curious, that's for sure. I guess angels really are the new vampires, huh?

Bookish Fun: Young Adult, The Movie

I don't know how I feel about Diablo Cody. Sometimes I think I love her, other times I want her to crawl back to the stripper hole she bounced from. When she first hit the scene with Juno, I loved her - and the movie - in theory. The concept appealed to me, and some of the lines were hilarious - but the delivery was just so forced and it was so self-consciously clever that, after I got over not being one of the cool kids obsessing over it, I had to admit I didn't actually like it that much. Then along came Jennifer's Body, and I LOVED the concept and loved the stars (except Megan Fox - but she was playing a demon so that worked for me), and was disappointed to find that it, too, felt way too forced and self-conscious. On the other hand, I think The United States of Tara is nothing short of amazeballs.

So it's with some trepidation that I'm getting excited about Cody's next project: Young Adult, directed by Jason Reitman and starring Charlize Theron (who I love), Patrick Wilson (who is cute) and Patton Oswalt (who is hilarious). It's about a Young Adult author (natch) who gets divorced, has a breakdown, heads back to her hometown, tries to get back with her (now married) high school sweetheart and forms an "unusual" bond with another former classmate. It sounds kinda fun... and how cool is the poster?!

Here is what some real YA authors told MTV about the film (or, at least, about the first still that's been released):

"That is pretty much what I look like RIGHT NOW. Minus the dog." — Ally Carter

"I'd say that while a lot of the YA authors I know work at home in an outfit like Charlize is wearing there (sweatpants and a ratty shirt) most of us wouldn't go out in public like that, not even to fly! YA authors are a pretty stylish group—you have to be when you're always interacting with teens. However I really can't judge her for the Hello Kitty shirt. I have a Hello Kitty toaster. And I would definitely see this movie just because I can't think of another film or TV show where my profession is depicted at all!" — Cassandra Clare

"Interestingly enough, it would not be unusual to see me in an airport wearing sweats and looking generally disheveled. Though I don't carry a pocket dog and know few YA authors who do. I would also be more likely to have a bag from Mrs. Field's, not Victoria's Secret. I like the premise of the film and I love Charlize Theron, so it will be interesting to see how the filmmakers portray a 'YA novelist.' Hopefully, it will include inside track details, like the fact that most of us wear our pajamas all day." — Kami Garcia