The Movie Was... Meh: Breaking Dawn Part Two

 
So. I've ended my relationship with The Twilight Saga. It's over. And not a moment too soon.*

Last night I dragged the Husband along to see Breaking Dawn Part Two, and I can't say either of us were particularly excited about it. I HATED the book, especially the second half, but I felt like I should watch the movie to, you know, get a sense of closure. The Husband just came along because he's a good sport. He subsequently slept through half the movie.**

As I mentioned in my post about Part One, I had a lot of problems with the book, which in turn meant I had a lot of problems with the movie(s), seeing as it's the same story and all. There were a few redeeming qualities,but not many. Spoilers ahead!

What I Liked

• The lullaby was played during the opening credits AND Edward actually plays it again to Bella and Renesmee. It's quite sweet. 
• The sex scenes were OK. Lots of facial close-ups. I guess they had to keep it PG or whatever. Sigh.
• Bella bashing up Jacob when she finds out he's imprinted on her daughter. Though her screaming about the Loch Ness Monster nickname was cringey, as is everything else about that name.
• Unlike in the book, Charlie actually wants to know what has happened to Bella. She refuses to tell him, and he gets really frustrated. I couldn't stand it in the book when Charlie went from a caring father to someone who was all "don't want to know", so I was really glad they changed it in the movie.
• The end, when Bella shows Edward her memories, was sweet, and the flashbacks provided a nice sense of closure.
• It was cool that they featured everyone from the saga in the credits, even if they didn't appear in this movie. It was a nice way to finish it off. Although by the end it started to feel a bit soap opera-ish, with the actors turning and smiling towards the camera.
• There was more action than there was in the book, but...

What I Didn't Like

• Of course it wasn't real action, it was just Alice's vision. I knew that going in, because I had read spoilers. The Husband, knowing nothing about the book or movie, said he thought that was going to happen anyway, because there was no "flash" of Alice's vision otherwise. But when the "twist" was revealed, everyone in the theatre laughed and there was more than a few cries of "are you serious?!" and "you've got to be joking!" I don't think many people were very impressed. I certainly wasn't. It's still lame that there's all that build up and nothing essentially happens. They're freaking vampires and werewolves, and no one dies? Yaaaaaaawn.
• RENESMEE. Everything about that character is The Worst, including the CGI - that baby was so freaking unrealistic, it was laughable. Literally. I couldn't take any scene with her in it seriously. When she finally turns into a real girl, she's too big. And the whole Jacob thing is still incredibly creepy, no matter how they try to make it seem like it isn't. The vision that Alice gets of Jacob and Renesmee together in the future is not only cheesy, it also doesn't make any sense - Alice can't get visions of Jacob OR Renesmee, which is why she can't just show everyone it's going to be fine in the first place.
• Bella looks good, but everyone else in the cast looks pretty terrible. The styling, hair and makeup was once again totally off for pretty much everyone. Edward was not hot. Which defeats the main purpose of the movie, really.
• Bella's narration was unnecessary (hello, Captain Obvious!) and distracting.
• Everything turns out perfect. Too perfect. It's boring. I blame Stephenie Meyer.

Rating: 2/5

*Seriously, I'm contemplating getting rid of the books. Maybe I'll give them one last hoorah before I dump them, but I think it would just be painful.
**Random anecdote: Before leaving for the movies, I was mucking around and threw some glitter at the Husband. It didn't really wash off. He had to walk into a Twilight movie as sparkly as Edward. Teehee.

Friday Links: Say hello to your friends...

Sad news today: prolific Australian author Bryce Courtenay has passed away. He posted a YouTube message thanking his fans a few weeks ago; it's absolutely heartbreaking.

The rest of this post is pretty silly, and there's no good way to segue, so my apologies, and here goes...

In honour of the first 20 The Baby-Sitters Club books getting released as ebooks, Ann M. Martin has named her favourites from the early series. Out of these, Boy-Crazy Stacey was totally my fave. I always liked the Claudia and Stacey books the best.

These bookish houses make me drool. My dream is to have a house with a beautiful library one day. Sigh.

Book Depository has compiled a list of the prettiest books in their collection, just in time for Christmas. I wish I had a kid to buy for so I could get some of the amazing pop-ups... or maybe I should just treat myself. Coz we all know I'm secretly nine years old at heart.

Laini Taylor gives five great writing tips, and some good advice for life, really:  "The main thing I’ve learned is that we all have to learn to work with - and appreciate - the brain we’ve been given, and not waste time wishing things were easier."

This is what season one and two of Game of Thrones would would like as old-school video games. (Spoiler: Awesome. And hilarious).

I love Robert Pattinson in interviews. He says the craziest things. He must give his publicist nightmares - or, at least, Summit's publicists. Especially with the statements he makes in this supercut of his thinly veiled disdain for the Twilight franchise. Gold.

Some sports show hosts in the US slipped an amazing amount of The Princess Bride quotes into their half-hour show, and it's the best sports show I've ever seen in my life. It's even more awesome that apparently it wasn't planned. I'm not into anything to do with sports, but I might be if they were like this all the time.

Here are the names for things that you didn't realise had names. Natiform, anyone?

True story: The Mighty Ducks totally taught me that Iceland is green and Greenland is covered in ice. Here are 32 other reasons the series rocked.

Marlon Brando sure was beautiful when he was young. Here are a bunch of photos of him, being beautiful. 

Michael Fassbender massaging Ryan Gosling = the bromance you never knew you wanted. Speaking of Ryan Gosling, click here if you want to rub his boner. Ahem.

Russell Brand interviewed two members of Westboro Baptist Church and made them look like the hateful idiots they are. Aside from being hilarious, he makes some very good, intelligent points.

Hot guys + babies = ovary explosions.

Love music history and/or pixelated gifs? This blog is for you.

YouTube Clip of the Week
Pink is amazeballs.

My Book Boyfriend: Finnick Odair

 

My Book Boyfriend is hosted by the lovely Missie at The Unread Reader. I've featured both Peeta and Gale from Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games trilogy in the past, but Finnick is actually one of my favourite characters from the series. I love his sense of humour and cocky bravado - especially because, deep down, he's actually really sensitive, caring and good. His tragic devotion to Annie, the woman he loves, is heartbreaking. He's supposed to be ridiculously good looking, and I pictured him as Robert Pattinson (I read the series at the tail end of my Robsession, OK?).

Swoon-Worthy Quotes

“Finnick?” I say, “Maybe some pants?” 
He looks down at his legs as if noticing his outfit for the first time. Then he whips off his hospital gown, leaving him in just his underwear. “Why? Do you find this” — he strikes a ridiculously provocative pose — “distracting?”

“Finnick!" Something between a shriek and a cry of joy. A lovely if somewhat bedraggled young woman--dark tangled hair, sea green eyes--runs toward us in nothing but a sheet. "Finnick!" And suddenly, it's as if there's no one in the world but these two, crashing through space to reach each other. They collide, enfold, lose their balance, and slam against a wall, where they stay. Clinging into one being. Indivisible.

So that’s who Finnick loves, I think. Not his string of fancy lovers in the Capitol. But a poor, mad girl back home.

"Want a sugar cube?"

The Movie Was Better: Breaking Dawn Part 1

So. I just got back from watching Breaking Dawn Part 1. As I've mentioned a few times this week, I haven't been that excited about watching it - I especially haven't felt the anxious excitement that I experienced with the first film (and, to a lesser extent, the second and third). Part of this I think is because it's been so long between movies, and my interest has naturally subsided. Another part is the fact that it's split into two movies, and I knew I'd have to wait another whole year to get the complete story... But mostly I think it's coz I really hated the book. It makes me ragey.


All that being said, the movie was... OK. It was pretty much what I expected it to be. There were a few things I LOVED, many that I laughed at, a couple that I hated, and still more that left me feeling not a lot at all. I'm going to break it down below, so if you don't want to read some massive spoilers for the movie STOP NOW.

The first and probably last time I'll use car-related humour. (Source)

What I liked

• Bella's wedding shoes and the back of her dress are gorgeous. I wasn't a fan of the front though. 
• The wedding vows were adorable - especially because they played "Flightless Bird, American Mouth" by Iron and Wine in the background as they said their vows and then as they kissed, with the camera panning around them. It was a lovely, unexpected echo of the first film that tied it together nicely and reinforced the fact that Bella is getting exactly what she wanted when she first danced with Edward to that song.
• Jessica is a welcome voice of reason and hilarity - "Do you think Bella will be showing?... Please, why else would you get married at 18?!"
• The lullaby is back! After going missing in New Moon and Eclipse, Bella's lullaby is played not once, but TWICE in Breaking Dawn Part 1. The first time is when Edward is doing his speech, and the second is towards the end, in a flashback montage of Bella and Edward's relationship. I was so happy to hear it again and thought they used it really well, especially the second time.
• The honeymoon is pretty cute. There are some sexy scenes, though nothing too graphic obviously. But it was MUCH better than the fade-to-black in the book. When I read it, I hated how Edward freaked out and Bella practically had to beg him to have sex with her again, but it's not as annoying in the movie. It's actually kinda cute, with scenes of them having fun together as Edward tries to tire Bella out, she tries to seduce him and he tries to resist. Their interactions are pretty sweet. Then she gets pregnant, and it's all downhill from there.
• There were a few things that were cut from the book that I was so glad not to see, especially the term "little nudger", and Edward's request that Jacob give Bella "puppies". Ugh.
• Edward actually gets some balls and becomes really angry with Bella. He even yells! He apologises later, naturally, but at least he wasn't a total wimp like he was in the book.
• They kind of made a joke out of the fact that Bella (read: Stephenie Meyer) chose the worst name ever for her baby. WORST. NAME. EVER. They all looked totally embarrassed to say it out loud. Which was pretty hilarious.
• The part where Edward "hears" the baby (I'm avoiding that name as much as possible) for the first time happens when he's alone with Bella, and it's actually quite a touching, beautiful moment between the two of them.
• The fight with the wolf pack at the end added some much-needed action.

What I didn't like
I'm not going to list everything, because then we'd be here all night. Needless to say, I've got a lot of issues with Breaking Dawn - much the same issues I think many fans have. As for the movie, its faults are largely due to the crappy plot it inherited from Stephenie Meyer. But there were a few movie-specific things that irked me:

• The hair and makeup. I swear, it's been getting worse with each movie. The one that bothered me most was Edward. He's supposed to be BEAUTIFUL, but his hair was way too dark and flat most of the time, and his face was way too pasty. I know he's a vampire, but it was just not a hot shade of white. What made it even worse was that a few times when, say, he had a top button open on his shirt, his skin was clearly a different colour below the neck. Lame. The one area makeup worked was when Bella is preggo. She definitely looked like crapola, as she's supposed to.
• I don't really remember Renee being so happy with Bella getting married in the book. And wasn't she warning Bella OFF getting so serious with Edward in the last movie?! Her excitement when she receives the invitation just felt a bit wrong to me. Charlie's reaction, on the other hand, was pretty spot on - as was his speech at the wedding!
• It's been awhile since I read the book, so I could be wrong, but I also thought Bella knew long before Breaking Dawn that Edward had killed people. His last-minute confession on the night before their wedding was just weird and out of place.
• The scenes where the pack are all in wolf form and communicating telepathically are kinda, well, lame. 
• I was personally glad not to have to witness Bella spewing up blood, but the birth scene, while not all that graphic, was still pretty gruesome. The director definitely tried to add in some more horror elements in this movie, and I can appreciate that, but let's face it - 99.9% of fans are watching this for the love story. You don't go to Twilight if you want to be scared. It's like McDonald's trying to add salads to their meals. Missing the point!
• RENESMEE. Need I say more? Everything about the name, the character, the whole plotline, is horrible. It's bad in the book, but it was kinda worse in the movie, especially watching Jacob fall to his knees at the sight of a baby. Pretty creepy. It's even creepier when Edward has to explain to everyone that Jacob has imprinted on his daughter. It was icky enough to read about, but hearing it out loud was totally gross. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
• I think I'm going to dislike Part 2 even more, because that was the part I really didn't enjoy in the book. There's so much RENESMEE in it, which I can't stand, and I found it hard to relate to Bella as a vampire. But I still don't want to have to wait a whole freaking year to see it. It's WAY too long between parts, in my opinion. They're just prolonging the pain.

Rating: 2.5/5

If you've seen Breaking Dawn Part 1, let me know what you thought!

My Book Boyfriend: Edward Cullen

 

My Book Boyfriend, hosted by the lovely Missie at The Unread Reader, is a weekly meme that allows book bloggers to showcase our fictional crushes (and drool over each other's). I've avoided featuring Edward Cullen for a long time because it seemed like such an obvious choice, and now the time has come when I'd planned to feature him in honour of the release of Breaking Dawn... and I have to admit, I think I'm over him. I never thought this day would come, but there it is.

Once upon a time, I was full-on obsessed with both Edward Cullen and Rob Pattinson, rereading the books and rewatching the movies over and over again, visiting Twilight blogs daily and plastering my man wall/desktop with photos of RPattz. But these days? They barely muster a smile, let alone a squee. When trying to find quotes for this post, I struggled - what I once found hot now just seems super cheesy and lame. I dunno, I think maybe I've just come across so many awesome books (and book boyfriends) since reading Twilight, Edward just pales in comparison (and not coz he's a vampire). I'm watching Breaking Dawn tonight, so maybe that will reignite my passion. But I'm still picking Edward now, for old time's sake... and for the love that once was [insert sigh and look of longing here].

Swoon-Worthy (And Occasionally Laughable) Quotes

"I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn’t want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy.”

“If I could dream at all it would be about you.”

“For almost ninety years I’ve walked among my kind, and yours…  all the time thinking I was complete in myself, not realizing what I was seeking. And not finding anything, because you weren’t alive yet.”

“Then you were nearly crushed to death in front of my eyes. Later I thought of a perfectly good excuse for why I acted at that moment - because if I hadn't saved you, if your blood had been spilled there in front of me, I don't think I could have stopped myself from exposing us for what we are. But I only thought of that excuse later. At the time, all I could think was, 'Not her.”

Pash, Pick or Pass: TwiGuys

Time to play Pash, Pick or Pass - a game where we pick from a random book trio and say who we'd pash (and dash), who we'd pick for a relationship and who we'd pass on all together.

The Contenders
It's perhaps the most famous love triangle of all (or at least of the past ten years)... yep, I'm talking Twilight. I've been sitting on this one for awhile in anticipation of the release of Breaking Dawn. Which I thought I'd be way more excited about by now. I have to say I'm feeling very "meh" about it... something that was really highlighted when I just about exploaded with excitement upon viewing The Hunger Games trailer. I was like, "Oh, THERE you are, Excitement". Anyway, now I'm rambling. Let's play with Edward et al, shall we?

Edward "Prick Tease" Cullen

Notable Quote: "Look after my heart... I've left it with you." 

Jacob "Don't Make Me Angry" Black

Notable Quote: "Does my being half-naked bother you?"

Mike "I'm Human" Newton

Notable Quote: "If I were lucky enough to sit by you, I would have talked to you."

My Choices

Pash: Jacob. Mainly so I can feel his abs. I also think he's pretty sweet and cute when he's not being all growly or falling in love with infants.

Pick: Edward, of course. There's just something about him that's irresistible, even though certain aspects of his character drive me nuts (stalker, much?).

Pass: Mike. Poor guy, he didn't stand a chance next to the other two. Bo-ring.

Who would you pash, pick and pass out of Bella's suitors?

Manip Madness: Breaking Dawn

Your regularly scheduled Mag Monday post is interrupted today because a) Nothing in magazines this week particularly caught my fancy, and b) Breaking Dawn Part 1 is released on Thursday, and I thought I should kick off Monday with something Twilight-related to generate some excitement (coz I gotta be honest, I'm weirdly not feeling any). I was going to feature my favourite Twilight magazine covers, but they're kinda old news, so I thought it would be way more fun to look at fan manips instead. Behold, Breaking Dawn as the fans (with Photoshop) see it...

The wedding

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The sexy times (a.k.a. the honeymoon)

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The pregnancy

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The demon spawn (a.k.a. RENESMEE)

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 The "let's pretend Rob doesn't have a pasty, scrawny, Englishman's body"

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And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Let's just say Twilight fans are very... creative.

Mag Monday: Double Shots of Kristen Stewart and Ryan Gosling

This was me when I saw Kristen Stewart on the cover of the September issue of W (minus the blue fur):

I'm not a massive fan of hers - her acting annoys me, and she's uncomfortable to watch in interviews/on the red carpet - but holy smokin' hotness she looks amazing here. Love it.

Kristen is also on the cover of Entertainment Weekly this week with Robert Pattinson, so I guess the hype machine for Breaking Dawn is officially in gear. The cover is obviously a still from the movie, and I have to say it's a bit... blergh. Why does Edward look so scared? This is one of the supposedly hot honeymoon scenes, so why do they look so, well, cold? I know he's a vampire and all, but c'mon!

Although I guess I shouldn't be too picky, it's still better than this:

There are a bunch of new stills inside the mag too, including some cute chess playing and what looks like Bella's "little nudger" moment (*groan*):

But my favourite cover of the week is most definitely Ryan Gosling on Esquire. It is so freaking adorable - even more so because apparently it was his idea. It represents his two selves - the public one, and the real him. The rest of the shoot apparently illustrates recent dreams Ryan has had and his weird obsession with skeletons. The story that goes with it is awesome - I am so incredibly jealous of the journo who interviewed Ryan and got to spend a whole day with him, driving, going on rides at Coney Island and eating candy.

Related: If you haven't seen the Ultimate Ryan Gosling GIF Wall yet, you haven't lived.